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Imposter Gay?

Updated: Apr 20

There's a lot of talk about imposter syndrome, or selfcare questions about being "enough". I never felt I had any issues with those concepts. In general, I do feel I'm enough. I do my best. I try to take things at a good pace for myself and not beat myself up.

But... I started thinking more specifically with those ideas. They can take shape in so many forms. Am I active enough? Am I dedicated enough? Do I meditate enough? (Ugh!) And then the one that I only realized recently, which, makes no sense, isn't a thing, and yet it's this weird trap in my brain: If I'm bisexual or pansexual. but I lean towards men and my relationships have been with men, could I not be 'LGBT' enough?

Yes, it sounds weird. Though I do know both straight and gay people who get frustrated with us bi/pan identifiers. I've been married to a man, so I can get the het-at-a-glance pass, which always made me feel a bit like, "Well, what right do I have to say anything?" Yet I would never say that a trans person who can pass has no right to their identity and struggles. Still, I'm hard on myself. And by not saying anything, I knew some family and friends wouldn't realize they *knew* someone close who is pan. So I did finally come out. Launching RinRin, I want to take a stand, and I'd also like to be part of a community, because I haven't been. And part of me knows there is insecurity there. Some of it has come from there not being much discussion on bisexuality and pansexuality most of my life. In most shows for the past (several!) decades, if a character had a long, loving relationship with the opposite sex and then fell for someone of the same sex, they didn't come out as bi. They're usually labeled gay. (I love me some Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but Willow, come on, you're BI! Just say it!)

So I give big love to, of course, Schitt's Creek for actually using the word "pansexual" and David's wine analogy! *dreamy sigh* And I also have been loving Work In Progress. (Recognize the pic from the post anyone?) I'm going through Season 2, so I have to mention the awesomeness of Abby getting shot down from going to the college lesbian event because she said she was bisexual. And then there's when she said, with typical Abby angst, "We don't all crawl out of the womb the perfect queer!" Amen to that!

There's a lot of talk about loving yourself and inclusion. We may have different ideas about what defines what. but fuck it, if you are gonna include then just let people define themselves and hug the shit out of 'em! People like myself will appreciate it! XD

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